Preconception
Congratulations on beginning your journey! There is so much you can do to prepare for your little one before conception even happens. Here are a few ideas to get you started.
Prepare for the things you pray for. Sometimes the delay is your preparation.
~Unknown
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Learn about birth and work through your fears.
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Improve your diet. Develop good eating habits for pregnancy now.
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Clean up your environment. Consider natural cleaning products and air and water purifiers.
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Declutter your space. What kind of environment do you want to raise your children in?
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Make your registry. Research the products you do need for baby while you have the energy to do it!
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Most importantly, learn to relax, surrender, and be present. No matter how long or short your conception journey is, these skills will serve you well throughout pregnancy and parenthood.
Pregnancy
The Mama Natural Week-By-Week Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth
Genevieve Howland
This is the best week-by-week pregnancy guides for natural-minded parents. It provides digestible chunks of information about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood as well as weekly insights into your baby's development and your own bodily changes.
Real Food for Pregnancy
Lily Nichols
An absolute must-read for all parents-to-be. This is your one-stop shop for the best pregnancy nutritional advice around. If you're in the preconception phase, this is a great guide to build up these habits now.
Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering
Dr. Sarah J. Buckley
This authoritative guide empowers you to make your own decisions and provides evidence-based pros and cons for many of the common prenatal tests and birth interventions. It surprises with heartfelt stories.
Postpartum
Postpartum is a time you must prepare for. It's recommended that you don't leave bed at all for the first week, stay on the couch or a chair for the second week, and still only engage in minimal movement during the third week. Yet, you may have younger children to care for, a husband that needs to go back to work, or other factors that make it difficult for you to get this critical healing time. Therefore, it is imperative that you ask for and accept offers of help before birth.
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Remember this initial postpartum period is not laziness; it is critical healing time you need for optimal physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing, all things necessary to be the best mother and wife you can be.
Tricks of the Trade....
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Set up a meal train (or have someone set it up for you). Ask for freezer meals with minimal spices. Casseroles, stews, and soups are great options for people to bring.
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Prep your own freezer meals. Have your favorite foods and snacks on standby, as well as a grocery list of priority items others can bring you when you run out. Meat pies, pot pies, and the same casseroles, and soups are excellent for healing. Opt for natural and organic when possible.
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Have juices on hand. Juices are not only a wonderful way to get fluid during birth, but they can be important to help increase your blood sugar in the immediate postpartum.
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Cabbage leaves for engorged breasts.
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Frozen pads can help alleviate hemorrhoids and sooth the perineum. Make sure to freeze them in the shape you want them!
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Organic cotton nursing nightgowns and bras. Both your and baby's skin will be sensitive, and natural material feels WAY more comfortable than synthetic.
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Nipple pads. You leak SO MUCH during the first few weeks postpartum (why does nobody tell you this???) Changing your top every few hours because your nipples are chafing on your soak shirt is just no way to live. Opt for organic pads made from natural material. Tissues work in a pinch.
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Ask people to reach out to you. Most people have no idea what a new mother needs. Tell people what you prefer ahead of time! If you want certain people to come and visit to help in the first few weeks, ask them ahead of time. If you would prefer people call or text, tell them! Those first few weeks can feel really lonely when everyone assume you want to be left alone.
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Prep your bathroom supplies where you can reach them. Trust me, you won't want to rotate to grab your peri bottle or a new pad off the back of the toilet.
Newborn Care
Everyone has some advice on exactly what you must or must not do with a newborn, lest you ruin your child for life. But, instead of listing off my opinions on all of these, I've curated a small list of questions to ask yourself to guide how you approach parenting. Once you have that down, it's much easier to sift through the endless parenting advice to find what truly aligns to your family's values.
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What is your goal (or purpose) as a parent?
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What kind of parent do you want to be?
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How does your role as a mother or father differ from that of your partner? What are each of your strengths and innate responsibilities?
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What is the purpose of raising children? (What are you raising your child for?)
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What do you believe about God and divine power? How does that impact your approach to your children and your parenting?
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What environment do you want to create for your children? This should encapsulate the physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual planes.
The Baby Book
William & Martha Sears
Beginning Well
Pia Dögl, Elke Maria Rischke, Ute Strub
Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding
Ina May Gaskin
This was my mother's parenting bible, and the first book I asked for when I became pregnant with our oldest. It is a thorough account of every detail you need to know about the practical elements of caring for a newborn written by medical experts who have a natural, holistic viewpoint.
Beautiful introduction to gentle and empathetic childhood care with a pedagogy based on Rudolf Steiner and Emmi Pikler. Just reading this holistic approach feels itself the way childhood should be.
A one-stop shop for all your questions regarding breastfeeding, including proper latch and troubleshooting.
Loss
Your baby got to spend the entirety of their life feeling nothing but warmth, safety, happiness, and love. You cared for your baby well. This is not your fault. God gives each of us a mission, and some of us only need a little time to complete it. Your baby is a special one.
Heaven's Gain ministry provides resources, including miscarriage kits, caskets and urns, memorials, and information. https://heavensgain.org/
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Make-Shift Miscarriage Kit
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Thin mesh sieve or strainer
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Peri or squirt bottle
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Jar
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Contact solution
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Pads
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Confirm with your healthcare provider that you can safely miscarry at home. You can also collect these items to bring with you to the hospital in the event they do not have miscarriage kits available.
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​ Collect all your items and keep them in the bathroom. Fill the jar partway with the contact solution. When you use the restroom, place the sieve under you to collect any contents. Use the peri bottle to rinse off what is collected and look for your baby. If your baby is not found, you can flush the contents unless your healthcare provider has requested you keep them for later analysis. Wear pads when not on the toilet.
If you find your baby, gentle place them into the jar, fill the rest of the way with contact solution, and tightly close. This vessel is similar to your baby's environment in your womb.